The Elvisaurus

Apparently I owe the world an article about a dinosaur that begins with E. Well, hello world, please keep reading.

Allow me to introduce you to the Elvisaurus. Elvis, or Cryolophosaurus as so called "serious" scientists call him, gets his name from his crest on the top of his head. This apparently looks a whole lot like Elvis' famous hairstyle, I remain unconvinced.

Much like myself, Elvisaurus had a mix of primative and advanced characteristics. The leg bones resemble early theropods while the skull resembeled an advanced Tetanurae. Elvisaurus was known to communicate via smartphone but still traveled by Steam train.

Elvisaurus remains have been discovered in Antartica, including in what is now the Ross Dependency. This means Elvis has a tenious link to New Zealand. New Zealand!

The Diplodocus

Welcome to episode four of our popular A-Zed series; Dinosaurs. Today we have reached the letter Dee, which of course means everybodies favourite long necked dinosaur that isn't the Apatosaurus; The Diplodocus. Our mate Dipo has that "classic dinosaur shape" with a big long neck and an equally huge tail, all held off the ground by four big sturdy legs. Diplodocus is long, in fact its the longest dinosaur that we have a complete skeleton of. It is estimated that Dipo was upto 33 metres long and weighed in at around 10 to 16 tonne. Jenny Craig would be proud.

The Diplodocus was discovered by S. W. Wilson in 1877, however he wasn't named until O. C. Marsh came along in 1878. Regular readers will know O. C. is short for Othniel Charles as Mr Marsh is a bit of a feature in this blog. From North America, complete skeletons are often found without their skulls, leading to a well respected theory made up just then by me that a headless sub species of Diplodocus existed in Wyoming and Colorado.

Dipo lived during the Jurassic period, so only about 150 million years ago. Hopefully I don't have to tell you that the Diplodocus was vegetarian, but just in case - the Diplodocus was vegetarian. They may have lived for around 100 years and probably travelled in herds. Its tail was "whip-like" and may have been used as a weapon. Either that, or for dominatrix games in the bedroom.

Unfortunately, no human ever saw a Diplodocus alive and so we can only summise what their habits were like. Academics guesstimate that they had nests for their eggs and were cathemeral - active in short bursts during the day. One study has even proposed that, due to their long necks, Dipo might have had a second smaller heart to pump blood to its head. But we all know that is wrong, as they didn't actually have heads.

The Camptosaurus

As per request, part 3 of the A-Z (see what I did there?) is about the mighty Camptosaurus: The Camping Dinosaur.

Whats that? It's an actual dinosaur? Oh. Uh....Look!!! Here's a shiney!

Ahem, now that I have you safely distracted let us start again. The Camptosaurus is actually quite boring. It is pretty much a typical Iguanidontid and, unlike the eponymous Iguanodon, the Captosaurus isn't even famous. Damn. 

Hilariously, it was originally called the Camptonotus, but it had to be renamed because our dear friend O. C. Marsh found that that name was already in use for a type of cricket. I can see why so many people were fighting over the Camptonotus name, it is very catchy.

Depending on who you believe the name either means "Bent Lizard", "Bendable Lizard" or "Flexible Lizard. It had a long snout, hundreds of teeth and a horny beak. Camptosaurus may have lived in herds, but really we don't know that, it's just a wild guess. We do know, however, that it ate plants and probably nipped cycads and other prehistoric plants with its tough, toothed beak. If you care about the Camptosaurus' "Locomotion", then I am reliably informed that it could walk on two OR four legs - versatile.

Is CamptosaurusYour Favorite Dinosaur? You Can Vote For It By Clicking Here

The Brontosaurus

Well, originally I didn't envisage the A-Z as being an actual series, just a rather random way to start the show. However I guess the joke is on me because since then I've had suggestions for letters and just today I was asked when the next A-Z would be out. Answer: Whenever I damn well feel like it. Other Answer: Now.

It may surprise you to find out that the Brontosaurus is extinct. No? Oh...I see what happened there. Let me rephrase that. The Brontosaurus is a "popular but obsolete synonym". In other words, this article is actually about the Apatosaurus. But I couldn't call the B article "The Apatosaurus", that just wouldn't make sense.

The Ankylosaurus

Hello World. 

Do you like dinosaurs? I rather like dinosaurs. Lets start with A shall we? Great. A dinosaur that starts with A is the Ankylosaurus. Like me, you may have previously heard of the Ankylosaurus because it is "often considered the archetypal armored dinosaur" (Wikipedia, 2010). 

The Ankylosaurus is noted for its big fuck off shell, which is believed to have protected it from enemies. This armour consisted of "massive knobs and plates", and yes I just included that bit to mention knobs. Besides its shell, it also had a big fuck off tail club. It is unknown if this was used in defence or in combat. Personally, I would use it both ways if I had a tail club, but maybe that's just me.

Surprisingly, no full skeleton of this wonderous beast has ever been found. But that doesn't mean they haven't been looking, no sir! The beast was named in 1908 by a chap called Barnum Brown who had found a partial skeleton in 1906. He also found at least two other partial skeletons and many other isolated bones, armor plates and teeth have been found over the years by others.

Sadly, Jurassic Park never returned the Ankylosaurus' phone calls and it is still waiting to become a big time movie star.