Scandal! Cap'N Crunch's Qualifications Questioned!!

In a surprisingly serious development this week, the nautical credibility of Cap'N Crunch was bought into question when troublesome trolls from Reddit identified that H. M. Crunch (real name Horatio Magellan) has three stripes on his uniform, instead of the four worn by a US Navy Captain. Three stripes identifies someone of the rank of Commander, who would report to a Captain.

The crisis then deepened for H. M. Crunch, with the US Navy stating that it had checked its personnel records and had no record of his service. Speculation quickly spread that he may have instead served in the French Navy, as in France three stripes signifies a Frigate Captain and he does sport a Napoleon style hat.

The maker of Cap'N Crunch cereal, Quakers*, was forced into damage control mode, stating that as he captains his own ship, the S.S. Guppy, he is a captain regardless of military rank, or service.

However, the debate rages on...

*what is with cereal companies with religious connotations?? I'm looking at you Sanitarium!

Something about Bunnies

If you are unemployed and days no longer have meaning to you, continue as you are. If you do have a job, you may have wondered why you have today off. Well folks, that's because this weekend is Easter.

Easter is very important because it is one of only three occasions where New Zealanders have two public holidays in a row (along with Christmas and New Years). Apparently it also might have something to do with religion, chocolate, or the coming of Spring. Except it's Autumn. Hmmmm.

Anyway, back to the topic, Rabbits. Did you know a male rabbit is called a buck and a female is a doe? They are also Rodents, found almost everywhere in the world, Herbivores, cute pets, have lots of babies and Delicious. Which, when you look at is, is quite a good collection of characteristics.

Back in 1997 some farmers illegally introduced the calicivirus into New Zealand in an attempt to control wild rabbits. These farmers of course introduced it at the wrong time of the year, ie after breeding season, and the attempt failed miserably.

The world's most famous bunny is the Duracell bunny. He is 16 years older than the Energizer bunny. Both bunnies are pink and beat a drum, much like a monkey with a cymbal.

The world's second most famous bunny is the Easter bunny. This weekend he is going to visit houses all around the world and leave chocolate eggs for kids to enjoy. God bless you, Easter bunny.

Breaking News: Pope's resignation causes Mass confusion.

In breaking news, the Bishop of Rome, Vicar of Jesus Christ, Successor of the Prince of the Apostles, Supreme Pontiff of the Universal Church, Primate of Italy, Archbishop and Metropolitan of the Roman Province, Sovereign of the State of Vatican City and Servant of the Servants of God has announced his resignation from the positions. Also known as Pope Benedict XVI (real name Joseph Aloisius Ratzinger) he will become the first pope since 1294 to resign voluntarily when he does so at 8am on 28 February 2013. Despite original reports that he was resigning to work as a marketing director for Satan, it can now be confirmed that he will retire to the Collegiate Church of St. Thomas of Villanova in Italy.

German-born, the future pope was conscripted into the Hitler Youth during the War before joining the Church in 1945. In 1981 he was appointed to a position in the Vatican City and became one of Pope John Paul II’s closest confidents. He was elected Pope on 19 April 2009 following John Paul’s death. Regarded as a traditionalist or fundamentalist, Benedict has suffered deteriorating health and reportedly has trouble walking. He was recently advised by doctors to avoid long flights.

Pope Benedict XVI checking out his favourite blog; Dinosaurs and Dandelions.

The election of a new pope is done by Jesus Christ himself. Prior to this, a Papal Conclave consisting of all of the Cardinals under 80 years of age convenes to make a recommendation. There are currently estimated to be 118 eligible Cardinals, of which ten are talked about as frontrunners for the position. The Cardinals are all locked into the Sistine Chapel until they can decide on a candidate. After each election, and they may vote continuously until someone “wins”, the ballots are burned. Dark smoke signals to the world that the election didn’t have a winner while White smoke signals that a new pope has been elected. Benedict himself was elected under rules requiring only a simple majority (50%+1) however now a supermajority (75%) is required. This means that this years conclave could be a long one, potentially frustrating the Church’s wish to have a new Pope elected in time for Easter.