Sports Thoughts: 23 June 2013

Well, I promised you a post today, so here it is. Five random thoughts I've had relating sports in the last few days.

Second string Spain put 10 past Tahiti
Hasn’t it been good to see Tahiti “perform” at the Confederations Cup. Has a team ever got so much credit for such thrashings as the island nation did when they lost 1-6 to Nigeria and 0-10 to Spain? I guess that’s what happens when you’re ranked 138^th and they’re ranked 31^st and 1^st in the world.

Fifa questions Durante's NZ eligibility
In good-but-it-doesn't-seem-it news, Fifa is investigating if the All Whites latest debutant, Andrew Durante, is actually eligible to play for us, being Australian and all. If they rule he isn't eligible for us it is likely that we will be stripped of our mighty victory over the Solomon Islands a few months ago. This is good because the issue was going to come up sooner or later and we'd rather have it worked out now than have it blow up in our faces later on and potentially be stripped of a World Cup qualification win over a team like Honduras.

Meninga cleared of wrong doing
Why is it called the “NRL integrity unit” when it can seemingly investigate anyone under the jurisdiction of the Australian Rugby League Commission, and not just NRL players?

Mini slams 'silly' Origin rule
Why is Anthony Minichello “hitting out” at the international rule regarding allegiance when really his anger should be directed at the ARLC’s insistence State of Origin players declare for Australia? By the way, only 127 days until the World Cup!

What about the Commodores?
And finally, “What about the Commodores” is not a phrase I thought I’d ever hear in V8 Supercars. This week bought the announcement of Volvo’s entry into the competition, joining Nissan, Ford, Mercedes and, of course, Holden. Here’s an artists impression of what one of the new Volvo S60’s will look like;

My All-Ferguson Manchester United XI

Following Sir Alex Ferguson's retirement, it's time to have a look at the best players to have come through the club under his reign. Ferguson has been in charge of the club since 1986 and under his reign Manchester United has won 13 Premier League titles, five FA Cup's, won the UEFA Champions League twice and the FIFA World Club Cup once, so there are a fair few names to choose from.

Because we have to start somewhere, lets begin at the most obvious place: Goalkeeper.
Goalkeeper: Peter Schmeichel (398 games, 1 goal) 

Schmeichel is the obvious choice for Goalkeeper. Joining Man U in 1991, he was named as the World's Best Goalkeeper in 1992 and 1993. At 191cm tall and weighing in at around 105kg, Schmeichel had to have special XXXL goalkeeper shirts made for him.

In his eight years at the club he became a legend and the 1998-99 season ended with the club winning the treble, Schmeichel was captain of the sides 1999 UEFA Champions League winning side.

Perhaps the best way to show how valuable he was is the fact that the club had great difficulty replacing him, trying solid but uninspiring players like Tim Howard and Roy Carroll, the insane Frenchman Fabian Barthez and even an Australia, Mark Bosnich, as they got increasingly desperate to find a quality replacement.
 

Right Back: Gary Neville (602 games, 7 goals)

A one-club player, Neville joined the club in 1991 and made his senior debut in 1992. One of a group of amazing youth players in the club that would go onto achieve great things, Neville was the clubs first choice right back for almost 20 years. He took over the captaincy following Roy Keane's departure in 2005. He also was a regular for England, and is his country's most capped right back.

Centre-back: Steve Bruce (309 games, 36 goals)

One of the best English players to never represent his country, Bruce made his United debut in 1987 and went on to captain the club to The Double in 1994. With a playing style described as "rampaging", Bruce was often in disciplinary trouble yet was a high goal scorer for a defender. Bruce is now a respected club manager and this year led Hull City to promotion to the Premier League.

Centre-back: Gary Pallister (437 games, 15 goals)

A tough as bricks centre defender, Pallister played for Manchester United between 1989 and 1998. Now a director of Darlington, Pallister transferred to Man Utd from Middlesbrough in what was then a record British fee. He formed a formidable partnership with Steve Bruce and by the time of his departure he was the only player to have been involved in all of Ferguson's titles.

Left Back: Phil Neville (386 games, 8 goals)

The younger, and slightly less famous, brother of Gary, Phil currently captains Everton. He made his debut in 1994 and developed a role as somewhat of a utility, only fully establishing himself at left back following the departure of Denis Irwin. However, Phil starts in my side because I like him far more as a player. Neville was sold to Everton in 2005, for a £3.5 million.

(Defensive) Centre midfield: Roy Keane - captain (480 games, 51 goals)

The one and only Roy Keane took Steve Bruce's aggressive playing style and turbocharged it in the way only an Irishman could. Keane became captain in 1997, following Eric Cantona's retirement. He spent twelve years at the club and is my captain as during that time he won more trophies than any other United captain. Keane left in 2005 to join Celtic and after retirement became another of Ferguson's ex players to go into club management.

(Attacking) Centre midfield: Paul Scholes (716* games, 155 goals)

Scholes has just announced his second retirement, following Ferguson into the sunset. He originally retired in 2011 before being talked into a comeback in early 2012. Scholes is another of the juniors that came up through the ranks in 1994-95 and has been a fixture in the side ever since, amassing over 700 games for the club and 66 for his country.

Right midfield: David Beckham (394 games, 85 goals)

While being a lock for inclusion into this side, putting Beckham into the starting line up was something of a closer call. In the end though his talent, and reputation, meant he had to be in the first XI. Another of the golden juniors, Beckham left for Real Madrid in 2003 along with his wife, Posh Spice.

Left midfield: Ryan Giggs (929* games, 167 goals)

The one and only Ryan Giggs. He has scored a goal in each of the Premier League's 21 seasons, which is simply amazing. Chances are he may go another year as well. Maybe.

Centre forward: Wayne Rooney (390* games, 194 goals)

Perhaps having now played his last game for the club, Rooney has done enough since joining the club in 2004 to make the side. Joining as a promising youngster from the mean streets of Everton, Rooney took the drastic step of getting hair implants in 2011. They did the trick and Rooney has scored for the club at an impressive strike rate of around 50 percent.

Centre forward: Mark Hughes (345 games, 120 goals)

The second Welsh international to make the side, Hughes has two spells at Manchester United with Ferguson bringing him back in 1988. He played 256 games for the club under Ferguson. Twice a winner of the Player of the Year award, Hughes went on to have a successful career in management post-retirement.

Substitutes

Edwin van der Sar (Goalkeeper; 266 games, 0 goals)

After several attempts at replacing Schmeichel, Manchester United finally came close with van der Sar. Joining in 2005, he kept goal for United until his retirement in 2011.

Rio Ferdinand (Centre-back; 420* games, 7 goals)

In 2002 he signed a five-year deal to become the most expensive British footballer in history at the time and the world's most expensive defender. He's still going, although now starting to slow down, but has somewhat justified his extensive price tag.

Denis Irwin (Right/Left Back; 529 games, 33 goals)

Perhaps unlucky to be sitting on the bench, Irwin is the fourth most capped player in this side.

Bryan Robson (Centre midfield; 345 games, 74 goals)

The longest serving captain in club history, Robson loses a point for not being a Ferguson hire. Like many players, he also had a patchy relationship with the gaffer.

Cristiano Ronaldo (Attacking midfield; 292 games, 118 goals)

Following reports that he may return to Man Utd, Ronaldo might have a chance to make the starting team of any future best XI's. A Portugese wunderkid, Ronaldo spent six years playing for United, before moving onto Real Madrid in search of bigger things.

Brian McClair (Forward; 355 games, 88 goals)

A nuggety Scottish forward, McClair now works at the clubs director of their youth academy.

Eric Cantona (Forward; 185 games, 82 goals)

The amazing Cantona joined United in 1992 and became captain in 1996. Known for the firery french flair, Cantona scored over 80 goals for the club in less than five years before his surprise retirement in 1997.

Honourable Mentions

Nemanja Vidic (Centre-back; 256* games, 19 goals)

The Serbian defender had to appeal for calm when Serbia lost to New Zealand in 2010. He also did some things for United.

Ruud van Nistelroy (Forward; 219 games, 150 goals)

van Nistelroy spent five years at Manchester United in the early 2000's. An amazing player, he would have had to stay longer to make the side.

Matthew tries to talk Basketball

Following the exciting news that Steven Adams has declared for the NBA draft, making Valerie the second most famous person in her family, I'm going to have a quick look at the best Tall Blacks line up of all time. I only really have a passing interest in Basketball so this will be heavily biased to the famous 2002 crop of Kiwis, enjoy!

Coach: Tab Baldwin

Lets start with the top. Coach Tab Baldwin was born in America and moved here to coach several of our domestic teams. In 2001 he was appointed coach of the Tall Blacks and really began making a name for himself. The team defeated Australia that year to qualify for the 2002 World Championships where they went on to defeat such names as Russia, China and Germany to finish fourth - two places higher than the United States. He later moved to the Middle East where he coached in the Turkish league and also the Lebanese and Jordan national teams before returning home, to New Zealand.

Centre: Steven Adams

Sure he's only 19 but last year he was being talked about as a top-10 NBA draft pick. Since then his stock may have fallen and he will likely end up around 19th, but 19th in the NBA is still good enough any day to walk onto my New Zealand starting five. Oh, and he is also 7 foot.

Power Forward: Sean Marks

The most NBA experienced Kiwi ever, Sean Marks played for six NBA clubs over fourteen seasons before retiring in 2011. A Mr fix-it man, he played in 230 games but only started eleven. He was part of the 2004-05 champion San Antonio Spurs, whose singlets look a little like the Tall Blacks. Coincidence? Probably.

Small Forward: Kirk Penney

A product of Westlake Boys' High School, Penney also spent some time in the NBA, for Miami and the Clippers. More recently he spent four seasons with the New Zealand Breakers but now ply's his trade in the Turkish league.

Shooting Guard: Thomas Abercrombie

Like the other three, Abercrombie attended college in America. He returned home in 2008 to join the Breakers, where he has remained since. Abercrombie is easily one of the best three players in the Australiasian league but, while there have been whispers now and then of scouts and trials, it doesn't appear as if he will ever make the pros in America.

Point Guard: Phill Jones

The highest New Zealand point scorer in the Australasian league, Jones was deadly with his three point shoot and was one of the stars of the Tall Blacks run in 2002. An original Breaker, Jones went on to have success with the Cairns Taipans.

Bench

Pero Cameron (Centre/Forward): More the size of a rugby union prop forward, Cameron didn't let that stop him and was the captain of the 2002 side.
Paul Henare (Guard): An original Breaker, Henare was the first player to have his number retired by the club when he retired in 2011.
Dillon Boucher (Foward): Proving that being hard working is more important than being talented, Boucher's will likely be the next number retired when he hangs it up at the end of this season.
Mika Vukona (Forward): The current captain of the Tall Blacks,Vukona played his 200th game for the Breakers this year.
Angela Marino (Guard): A former Tall Fern, Marino is mainly in the team because it allows me to leave you with these;

Sports Thoughts

New Zealand cricket thinks it is hexed at Eden Park, and maybe it is. But spare a thought for New Zealand rugby league. No New Zealand rugby league side has won at the venue since 1919 - and that was Auckland against Hawke's Bay! Admittedly, only one game of rugby league was played at the venue between 1919 and the 2005 due to rugby union not wanting to share the venue, but hey, thats still an impressive losing streak.

While we are vaguely on the topic of cricket, New Zealand umpire Billy Bowden gave Pakistani batsman Mohammad Hafeez out for obstructing the field the other day, the first time someone's been given out under the 2011 ruling that batsmen cannot get in the way of a throw. Four other international batsmen have been given out under the more general "obstructing the field" rule, two of which have also been Pakistani's.

Finally, back to the depressing rugby league desk. The Warriors current club record loss streak of 10 games and 258 days is nothing when compared to the all time records. Poor University lost 42 consecutive games between 1934 and 1936. Funnily enough they don't exist anymore.
Out of current NRL clubs, the Eastern Suburbs Roosters lost 25 games between 1965 and 1967. So the Warriors still have a wee way to go yet.

Round 1: Don't mention the war

Well, Round 1 is done and dusted and the NRL is back.

Amid swirling rumours of the Sharks rapid demise, Sky managed to sign a five year television deal with the NRL just in time to screen Thursday Night Football. They backed this up by signing the clear number two commentator in Australia, Andrew Voss, to call the Warriors matches.

Channel Nine's Thursday Night Football began with a bit of a dedication to SBW and continued in that vein all night, including a bizzare voice over as he ran onto his field to make his debut for the Roosters, and a pre-recorded half time interview. Now they even have me talking about him, sigh. Oh, and there was also a league match, the Rabbitohs winning 28-10 and George Burgess returning 65 points for your $137k investment.

This was followed up by Friday's come from behind win for Manly over the favoured Brisbane Broncos. However the real news on Friday was Cronulla's decision to sack their physio, manager, doctor and trainer and stand down the head coach. Of course this was due to management failures in 2011 and was in no way related to the ASADA drug investigation.

Which unfortunately brings us to Saturday. Saturday saw the Cowboys defeat the Bulldogs 24-12. That is all.

Sunday gave us the Panthers putting in an impressive display against the Raiders, Dugan getting injured again, the Storm dominating the Dragons 30-10 and the Sharks pull off an emotional 12-10 victory over the Titans. They are running on fumes at the moment though and probably can't keep it up.

Monday wrapped up the week with the Knights thrashing the Wests Tigers 42-10. Benji missed a conversion after the hooter to ensure they finished round 1 in last place. Aquila Uate top scored in dreamteam with a whopping 93 points, highlighting the rule changes that now favour attacking players.

Bring on Round 2!

News in a minute: 1 March 2013

Welcome to Friday 1 March 2013, the time is Seven, roughly.

Today's headline story; Muriwai Beach will reopen tomorrow, Saturday, following Wednesday's Shark Attack. The Horrific, Scary and Totally Unprovoked Shark Attack occurred on Wednesday to a Muriwai Local, a person who was just like you and me. All comments on media Sensationalism aside, pretty freaky huh? Also, here's an article encouraging us to refer to them as encounters instead of attacks. Meanwhile, Wellington acts as if it's never seen dolphins before.

In world news the Pope's resignation took effect this morning (NZT), leaving the Church in a rush to get a new one in place before Easter. Like all good bureaucracies, the Vatican is an expert at rule bending and getting what it wants. Therefore, I'd expect that we will see the white smoke coming out of the chimney sooner rather than later. In other world news, Corporal Bradley Manning has pleaded guilty to some of the more minor charges he was facing and is looking at 20 years in prison. He still may, however, face prosecution for "aiding the enemy" - which is a bit like Treason, but also isn't...apparently.

And finally, in sports, the world's media (including stuff.co.nz who think it's frontpage news) is falling all over Lauren Silberman as she becomes the first female to try out for a NFL team this week. Of course her chances of making one of the 32 teams is zero, and that's not just because she is missing a penis: she didn't kick for a college team and comes from a football (er...soccer) background. Kickers are never drafted anyway, why kick the ball when you can throw it?

Lauren Silberman: Credible draft choice?

Alright, that's us. Thank you for reading and remember:

Better Living everyone!

Echo Golf Golf Sierra

Eggs. We all love them, they're delicious (and easy to cook!). Most of the eggs we humans eat are chicken eggs, chickens were domesticated from Jungle fowl in subtropical southern Asia around 7500 BCE. I bet us humans have eaten a hell of a lot of chicken eggs since then.

The egg carton was invented in Canada in 1911. A wonderful invention, the egg carton holds eggs. Usually six or twelve. Sometimes ten.

You can cook eggs many different ways. You can boil them, fry them or even scramble them. To scramble them though you probably need to add some extra ingredients. Like milk and butter.

Because Americans are weird, the United States Department of Agriculture classifies eggs as meat. The USDA also recommends refrigerating eggs to prevent the growth of Salmonella. Good advice.

Did you know that? I didn't. That's a lot of eggs. Oracle Team USA are the current holders of the America's Cup. They won the cup in 2010 after a long legal battle resulted in their super huge trimaran defeating Alinghi's slightly smaller catamaran. Despite being held in the dead of night (NZ Time), the races were phreakin' amazing to watch, with the trimaran spending most of the race with only one hull in the water and at times sailing four times faster than the wind speed. Awesome.

The Cup is named after the first yacht to win it, America. The New York Yacht Club won the first race in 1851, making this the oldest active international trophy in sport. When the NYYC finally lost the cup in 1983 it ended the longest winning streak in sport.

Oracle Team USA will defend the cup later this year. Three challengers will compete for the right to face them; Artemis Racing from Sweden, Luna Rossa from Italy and Team New Zealand from RIGHT HERE IN LITTLE OL' NEW ZEALAND. We are going to kick some arse. I can't wait.

Super Numbers

After watching Super Bowl XLVII, the Dinosaurs and Dandelions sports department breaks down the numbers from yesterday’s game;

• Just before halftime, Baltimore kicker Justin Tucker attempted the first fake field goal in the games history. The play was unsuccessful.
• Baltimore won their second Vince Lombardi trophy with the victory, and promptly lost the trophy during their post-game celebrations.
• 14 percent was the increase in Chicken Wing prices, thanks to a shortage of chickens. The weather also caused a shortage in carrots and celery. Luckily, Canada had a surplus of wings due to ice hockey’s shorter season this year.
• 34 minutes was the length of the power outage that held up the game and absolutely definitely wasn’t caused by Beyonce.
• 300,000 online orders were placed with Domino’s Pizza during the Super Bowl.
• 50 million cases of beer were estimated to be consumed.
• 108 million people watched the game, making it the third highest rating TV programme in American history – after Super Bowl XLVI and Super Bowl XLV.
• Over a billion chicken wings were consumed, according to the National Chicken Council.
• The Ravens won the match, 34-31.

Friday Night Live: World Chess Championship 2010

Welcome back boys and girls to Friday Night Live, Dinosaurs and Dandelions EXCLUSIVE coverage of the very best in worldwide sport. And best of all, it's all entirely LIVE and Free-to-air! This week we swap the gloomy streets of Sheffield for the exciting gym halls of Sofia, Bulgaria. The World Chess Championship 2010 awaits!

The match was a classic ladies and gentlemen, so strap yourselves in and prepare for a wild ride. The best of twelve thriller was between the DEFENDING Viswanathan Anand and the young (35) upstart challenger Veselin Topalov. But before we can get to the classic match, lets have a look at some of the background wheeling and dealing that got us to this point.

Anand, who hails from India, has been the Undisputed World Chess Champion since 2007. The title was split in 1993 after a contractual dispute and was only unified again in 2006. Anand had been the FIDE (Federation of Idiots, Drongos and Elephants)World Champion between 2000 and 2002, before it was unified back into the Undisputed title. Anyway, that's Anand's story and how he became one of the two participants in today's exciting action.

Topalov's path to the match is entirely different. Topalov was the FIDE World Chess Champion between 2005 and 2006, so he has what it takes to be a champion. After he lost that title he became one of the two participants in the 2009 Challenger match, facing the 2007 Chess World Cup winner Gata Kamsky in a match to decide who would be the number one contender. Topalov, of course, won that match and so earned the RIGHT to face Anand.

Sofia, Bulgaria won the right to host this exciting event. Topalov is Bulgarian and so it was advantageous to him to be playing in front of his millions of fans. The match format was the best of 12 games. Players scored one point for a win and half a point for a draw. Topalov demanded that the match be played in silence, and so they were. SHHHHH. Harking back to old Western duels, both players got to nominate four "seconds" to help them prepare and presumably take over if they died. Anand had the same group of seconds who helped his preparation in World Chess Championship 2008: Peter Heine Nielsen, Rustam Kasimdzhanov, Surya Ganguly and Radoslaw Wojtaszek. Topalov's seconds were Jan Smeets, Erwin l’Ami, Ivan Cheparinov and Jiri Dufek. What a class bunch of people.

So, the match it self. Well, I can tell you it was thrilling. After the first two matches (remember its a best of twelve) they were tied 1-1. They then played for five draws and an Anand win, to give a score of Anand 4, Topalov 3. But THEN Topalov struck back to tie them up at 4-all. They then played to THREE more draws to have the scores tied at 5½ each with ONE game remaining. This match is so exciting I am just going to post the whole thing, Remember Anand is black: Queen's Gambit Declined: Lasker Defense, D56

1.d4 d5 2.c4 e6 3.Nf3 Nf6 4.Nc3 Be7 5.Bg5 h6 6.Bh4 O-O 7.e3 Ne4 8.Bxe7 Qxe7 9.Rc1 c6 10.Be2 Nxc3 11.Rxc3 dxc4 12.Bxc4 Nd7 13.O-O b6 14.Bd3 c5 15.Be4 Rb8 16.Qc2 Nf6!? 17.dxc5 Nxe4 18.Qxe4 bxc5 19.Qc2 Bb7 20.Nd2 Rfd8 21.f3 Ba6 22.Rf2 Rd7 23.g3 Rbd8 24.Kg2 Bd3 25.Qc1 Ba6 26.Ra3 Bb7 27.Nb3 Rc7 28.Na5 Ba8 29.Nc4 e5 30.e4 f5! 31.exf5? e4! 32.fxe4?? Qxe4+ 33.Kh3 Rd4 34.Ne3 Qe8! 35.g4 h5 36.Kh4 g5+ 37.fxg6 Qxg6 38.Qf1 Rxg4+ 39.Kh3 Re7 40.Rf8+ Kg7 41.Nf5+ Kh7 42.Rg3 Rxg3+ 43.hxg3 Qg4+ 44.Kh2 Re2+ 45.Kg1 Rg2+ 46.Qxg2 Bxg2 47.Kxg2 Qe2+ 48.Kh3 c4 49.a4 a5 50.Rf6 Kg8 51.Nh6+ Kg7 52.Rb6 Qe4 53.Kh2 Kh7 54.Rd6 Qe5 55.Nf7 Qxb2+ 56.Kh3 Qg7 0–1

 

!!!!! OMG !!!!

ANAND WINS! ANAND WINS!

I know, right? To see an actual zugzwang in a World Championship match. Amazing!

Boy I can hardly wait for the World Chess Championship 2012.

Friday Night Live: World Snooker Championships

Well we promised you sport more exciting than anything TVNZ has. So, continuing the trend of live blogging on a Friday, we bring you exclusive coverage from the 2010 World Snooker Championship. We also apoligise for the lack of posts this week, it won't happen again *cough*.

We are LIVE from the Crucible Theatre in Sheffield. Seems an odd place for a World Championship, but there you go. Snooker has come along was from being a sport played in smoke filled English pubs. It is now also played in smoke filled Chinese pubs. "Athletes" from many countries also participate, such as Ireland, Scotland, Northern Ireland, Australia, Hong Kong and Wales. Truly a global game!

32 participants played in a straight knock out format. There had also been five rounds of qualifying. That's a lot of people. In the interest of full disclosure I must point out that there was also a German and a Thai in the qualifying rounds, don't want to miss out those Snooker powerhouses.

The current World number one and defending champion John Higgins was eliminated in the second round. He was later suspended from Snooker by the WBSPA (Water Balloon, Snooker and Puppy Association) after the News of the World alleged he had accepted money to lose frames during matches. Or in other words, is a dirty crook.

The final was between a Scot and an Australian, the first time since that classic 2003 final that there was no Englishman in the final. Australian Neil Robertson became the first Wanker Australian to win the title since 1952. There were many celebrations and they even wrote a poem about him. He is quite the looker.

For those of you interested the final score was as follows:
Neil Robertson (Aus) 18-13 Graeme Dott (Sco)
10-87 (80), 65-55, 1-93, 35-62, 68-56 (62, 56), 62-56, 24-73 (57), 47-74, 66-5 (61), 90-6 (90), 79-72 (Dott 72), 79-53 (79), 52-11, 4-71 (56), 27-70 (53), 113-23 (75), 23-87 (79), 69-56, 82-1 (82), 31-66 (52), 89-12 (51), 2-116 (112), 12-81, 116-13 (55), 36-83 (57), 69-15 (55), 63-49, 53-78, 74-23, 58-10, 94-1 (53)
Thrilling.

That wraps up our exclusive live coverage of the Snooker World Championship, we hope you enjoyed it.

A Rugby League Rant

Well, it's not going to be the usual subject matter, because most of you don't really give a shit - but I'm overdue for a post on my favourite sport, especially after what happened YESTERDAY. But anytime the NZ Herald has my favourite sport as its headline, then you know Dinosaurs and Dandelions is overdue for a League post. The second half of this post is what I was angry about earlier this week, the first half is shocking breaking news - delivered only days later than everywhere else.

Scandal!

"What's the difference between the Melbourne Storm and a toothpick? The toothpick has two points."