Spring forward, Fall back...

So in twelve hours time the clocks go forward an hour and 2 o'clock becomes 3 o'clock.

  

Did you know that New Zealand was one of the first countries in the world to officially adopt a nationally observed standard time? Well, apparently we were. Daylight saving was adopted in 1927, at first involving only a 30 minute leap into the future. An hour jump was trialled in 1974/75 and made permanent the year after. The period daylight saving lasts for has been extended twice since then, in 1990 and in 2006.

News in a Minute: News Flash

The star of hit shows Boardwalk Empire and Jersey Shore is in a critical condition tonight after being involved in a fire. Fire has destroyed up to 80% of the iconic New Jersey Boardwalk.

Ironically, the fire began in an ice cream shop, before spreading to over 50 businesses. Over 400 firefighters took five hours to put the blaze out. The same area was last year destroyed by Hurricane Sandy. The year before that the area was destroyed by Snookie and Jwow.

Voting made easy: Mayor of Auckland

In what is perhaps the most boring race behind Howick and Orakei's, the race for Auckland Mayor has not managed to attract a field of credible candidates to challenge incumbent Len Brown. As an aside, you have probably noticed I like to use the word incumbent a lot, in fact I wrote a dissertation on the topic, it simply means "the guy who currently has the job".

Anyway, lets have a quick look at the "candidates" for Mayor:

• Stephen Berry "Affordable Auckland" - A former Libertarianz deputy leader, which places him somewhere right of the ACT party.
• Penny Bright "Independent" - Also known as "the crazy Watercare lady", Penny is a long time activist and doesn't pay her rates in protest.
• Len Brown "Independent" - The Incumbent mayor, Brown defeated John Banks in 2010.
• Jesse Butler - I'll let Jesse describe himself: "...Masters Degree. Unemployed. All Blacks Supporter. Your new Auckland Mayor."
• Tricia Cheel - An anti-fluroide activist from the North Shore, Tricia was angry in 2009 when her water was cut off two days too early.
• Paul Duffy - A former employee of a credit card company and the founder of duffyclub™, Duffy is campaigning on his business credentials.
• Matthew Goode - A failed local board candidate in 2010, this year Matthew is trying to run for Mayor.
• Emmett Hussey "Independent" - His billboards describe him as "Sane." I am worried that he actually needs to state that as an attribute. He was charged with threatening behaviour back in 1915.*
• Susanna Susara Kruger "Independent" - From Nambia, Kruger is currently setting up a "private global online entrepreneur university".
• John Minto "Mana Movement" - Made famous by his involvement in the 1981 Springbox protests, Minto is a long time activist and a member of the Mana Party.
• Phil O'Connor "Christians Against Abortion" - He is a christian and he is against abortions.
• John Palino "Independent" - An American chef and/or host of a cooking programme, Palino is generally thought to be the strongest challenger from the right.
• Reuben Shadbolt "Independent" - The son of the man who lost the Waitemata mayoral chains at a party. Which seems to be his main attribute.
• Uesifili Unasa "Independent" - The Maclaurin Chapel reverend, Unasa is mainly campaigning in South Auckland.
• Annalucia Vermunt "Communist League" - Ah, the Communist League. Why they still donate an entry fee to the council each election, I really do not know.
• David Willmott "Roads First" - A transport engineer, David would like us to build more roads. We would then need more transport engineers. Ironically, his website is all about government debt and the collapse of Western civilisation into a world of warlords and serfdom.
• Wayne Young "Working for the Homeless" - Made homeless by the leaky building crisis, Wayne would like to be mayor.

 Phew! Okay, that's all 17 candidates. What a eclectic field!
*this was possibly a different Emmett Hussey. Maybe.

Voting made easy: Waitakere

This October is local elections time again. Conducted by postal vote, you’ll be asked to vote for the mayor, the council, your local board, the district health board and (if you’re unlucky) the local licensing trust. Still confused? Maybe this picture will help?

Hmm...no that probably didn't work. Anyway, to make you more informed, I’m going to run through the candidates for the areas I live in. After all, it is all about me. If you're really that interested, a full list of the candidates can be found here. Anyway, without further ado, let’s start by having a look at the candidates for the Waitakere ward of the Auckland Council. In this ward, eight candidates are running for two seats on the council.

·        Peter Chan “Affordable Auckland” – A former Waitakere City Councillor, Mr Chan is running on the “Affordable Auckland” ticket along with former Libertarianz deputy leader Stephen Berry.
·        Linda Cooper “Independent” –A National Party list candidate and a former Waitakere City Councillor, Linda is an alumni of Massey High School.
·        Allan Fazaker – No idea. Google has nothing.
·        Penny Hulse “West At Heart” – The current deputy mayor of Auckland and, more importantly, Robert’s mum. Penny was also the last deputy mayor of Waitakere City and seems to clearly be the strongest candidate in the field.
·        Brian Neeson “Independent” – A former National MP who was replaced by John Key in 2002. This prompted Mr Neeson to leave the National party and run against John Key as an independent.
·        Douglas Robertson “Mana Movement” – Mr Robertson is standing for Hone Harawira’s Mana Movement.
·        Christine Rose “Independent” – A former Auckland Regional Councillor and Labour Party candidate, Christine has been endorsed by incumbent Sandra Coney who is stepping down from the Council.
·        Jason Woolston – Previously famous for being shocked after finding porn on a Vodafone loan phone, you can now find him on twitter at twitter.com/WoolstonNZ. He seems to be a fan of Shortland Street.

Spice of the week: Clove

Ah, cloves. Cloves!

Native to Indonesia, they are dried flower buds of an evergreen tree. They can be used in both sweet and savory dishes and are often found in Asian, Indian and African cooking. Apparently, cloves have a numbing effect to the mouth. Clove cigarettes were outlawed in the States in 2009.

Bizarrely, Zanzibar is the world's largest producer of cloves. It also turns out that Zanzibar is an island. Nuts! (or should that be Cloves!)

A clove of garlic is not the same as clove. Also, don't google cloves of garlic...things get weird...

The Music Box [Darius Rucker]

This week in a Music Box first, we have an extra special request from one of our favourite Dino Dandies in the whole world, Krystle! Here's exactly what she wrote, word for word:

Hootie from 'Hootie and the Blowfish' is now known by his actual name: Darius Rucker! His first single, "Don't Think I Don't Think About It", made him the first African American to chart a number one on the Hot Country Songs charts since 1983!! PS: Dinosaurs and Dandelions is the best thing on the internet!! I just can't get enough!!

Thanks Krystle, I did wonder what had happened to Hootie and your support means a lot to us! As requested, this is Darius Rucker with his song, Wagon Wheel. Have a nice day!

C3: International IPA day

As you may know, today is International IPA day. So to celebrate, today in Connoisseur’s Craftbeer Corner we are looking at the king of Indian Pale Ales, the Tui East India Pale Ale.

An IPA is a pale ale beefed up with more hops and a higher alcohol content. The style developed in England in the 18th century and these additions helped to preserve the ale on the ship voyage from Britain to India, giving IPA’s their name. The more recent craft beer movement in America has adopted the IPA and California in particular is noted for its aggressive IPA’s filled to the brim with hoppy goodness.

Tui (DB Breweries)

Brief
First brewed in 1889, Tui’s spiritual home is in Mangatainoka despite production having long since moved north to Auckland. Countdown lists this beer at $19.99 for a 12-pack.

Look 4/5
Well marketed, a wide variety of merchandise can be purchased in Tui orange (including Tuimato sauce). Plus, the factory is run by Tui girls. Honest.

Taste 2/5
Well…it is beer.

Summary 3/5
An IPA to be savoured. Yeah right.

The Music Box [AlunaGeorge]

Our last duo is from London and consists of Aluna Francis and George Reid. They call themselves AlunaGeorge [See what they did there?], and they just released their first album, Body Music, in the last week! The tune might be called Attracting Flies, but don't worry, it doesn't stink!

Top5: Boxes

5. Post Office. 

Mail, who doesn’t like getting mail? Especially post cards.

4. Cricket. 

A box in cricket protects important stuff.

3. Cardboard. 

Essential for when you are moving house, cardboard boxes also come in handy at Pak n Save.

2. Office. 

We rather like films here at D&D. LOTS of films.

1. Music.
Bringing us top quality content since 2010. The Music Box never fails to entertain and inform with high quality tunes.

The Music Box [The Knife]

Our next duo consists of Swedish siblings, Olof Dreijer and Karin Dreijer Anderson, who perform under the name, The Knife. [If that sounds familiar, it might be because the José González version of their song, Heartbeats has already featured in The Music Box during last months covers theme!] From their fourth album, Shake The Habitual, this is A Tooth For An Eye.

The Music box [The Presets]

For the third edition of our duos theme we have the forth single off the third album of the first Aussie group ever featured in The Music Box. Here now, with the song Fall, are two guys dressed as The Presets falling out of a plane.

Top5: The Western Isle

As you may know, I'm over in the Western Isle right now. Tonight in fact we are repairing broken friendships by watching the Warriors THRASH the Wests Tigers. (hopefully)

To celebrate here are five fun facts:

5. One third of Australia is desert.

4. The 1828 census found that half the population of NSW was convicts, and another quarter were ex-convicts. 26 January, Australia day, is the anniversary of the first convict ships arriving in Sydney.

3. Sydney is Australia's first, and largest, city. Also known as Sin City, Sydney wanted to be the capital of Australia but its convict stigma counted against it. Instead, they built a shithole capital halfway between Sydney and Melbourne; Canberra.

2.Australia's first police force was a band of 12 of the most well behaved Convicts.

1. Emus and kangaroos cannot walk backwards, and are on the Australian coat of arms for that reason.

Ask Allan... July Edition

Welcome to July's edition of your favorite monthly Q&A. Before we start, many of you have been asking where you can purchase the yellow leather hat shown in the banner above. Unfortunately this is not for sale as I only have one and I need it every second Thursday. If you would like to enquire about purchasing any other items of clothing, please see the contact details at the end of this blog entry. Now.. down to business...

Dear Allan, 

My car makes a sloshing sound when I come to a stop. What should I do? #AskAllan

Krystle @ Bush & Beach

Dear Krystle @ Bush & Beach

Your car may be carrying too much petrol, which could be overflowing and gathering in the crevices of the car's structure. I recommend soaking an old rag in petrol, opening the fuel filler cap, place the soaked rag in the fuel filler hole and then light the rag with a match. This will get rid of that pesky surplus petrol and the sloshing sounds! :-)

Thanks for writing in to 'Ask Allan...'

p.s. stand back

Allan 

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Why do they make Ribena packages so that the only way to open them involves sticking your finger into the Ribena?

- Stephen Merriman

Hi Stephen, thanks for your thought-provoking question. 

After conducting extensive research and testing, I have come to the following conclusion: You're doing it wrong. 

Thanks

Allan

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Dear Allan,
My husband has recently acquired a man scarf to protect him from the chilly winter weather. He is struggling to find the best and most masculine way to wear his scarf and I was wondering if you would be able to provide some advise in regards to this as it seems that you are very fashion-conscious (judging by the picture provided on this blog). Please help!
Mrs K M Martin

Dear Mrs Martin, 

Thank you for your question which I have no doubt has embarrassed your husband greatly. From the information you have provided me, and the fact that you expect your husband to wear a scarf, I can only come to the conclusion that you live on the North Shore... somewhere in the Torbay/Browns Bay area perhaps? But that is beside the point... 

When it comes to men wearing scarfs, I find that there is only one best practice, and I would be happy to guide you through it step-by-step (...remember that TV show?).

1. Hold the scarf in both hands so that is it fully-extended.. hehehe
2. Fold the scarf in half, and then fold in half again so that it is approx 1/4 the original length
3. Ask your husband to stand with both arms extended in front of him, palms down
4. Flush the scarf down the toilet.

Thanks for writing in! :-)

Allan

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Dear Allan,
There's this girl. Every time I see her she starts kissing my neck and partially undressing. How do I tell if she likes me or not?
Yours,
Mr B. Lind

Thank you for your question Mr B. Lind.

I cannot be sure, however if she has not actually told you that she likes you, then I would predict that you are not paying her enough money. Next time she is undressing, try slipping her another $50 while asking "Do you like me?".... I am sure this would provide a favorable result for you. 

To provide additional support with your problem, I am more than happy to help by coming to observe this next time and providing a demonstration if needed. 

Allan

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Dear Allan

As co-editor-in-chief I demand to know how you got access to Dinosaurs and Dandelions and who authorised this whole 'Ask Allan' nonsense! You can't just stroll in here like you own the place and start writing your own bits! This is an outrage! Matthew is on the phone to our head of security as I type this and you should expect to recieve a letter from our lawyers in th every near future regarding this breach!

While I'm here though, I am co-editor-in-chief of a blog, for pirvacy reasons lets call it.. "Jigsaws and Sealions"... and there is this other co-editor-in-chief who is always picking on me and calling me names. How can I make him stop and understand how his actions make me feel?

Keep up the good work
From Pez.

Dear Pez, 

Thank you for your email. Unfortunately it would be inappropriate for me to comment on the aleged "breach" you outlined in early in your letter, as my solicitor is currently drawing up a suitable response, which I can assure you will include some sort of defamation claim. However, I can say, it is great to be part of the team and working with you Pez.

In regards to the second part of your letter, I do want to help you while protecting your privacy.. or what you seem to call 'pirvacy'. Thinking back to my days as a Peer Mediator whilst I attended Primary School, a technique comes to mind which you may find helpful... I would start by having a conversation with this co-editor where you begin by making "I feel..." statements. This way Matthew he may better understand how his actions make you feel. If this does not work, then I recommend a swift knee to the crotch or a prank resulting him in spending a night in prison... I'll leave the details up to you ;-)

I hope this helps

Allan

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Well people, that brings to a close July's edition of 'Ask Allan...' and I cannot thank you enough for your input via your questions. I'm sorry I couldn't get around to responding to everyone's questions... they just weren't good enough. However they will be filed away in preparation for the Wildcard Round.

As always, I leave you with a powerful quote for you to ponder in the days ahead:

"Its t-shirt tiiiiiiiiiime"
Vinny, Pauley, Mikey and Ron

And if you were wondering if it was Christmas yet, here is a website you may find helpful:

www.isitchristmas.com

Please do keep your questions coming, no matter how trivial or outrageous you think they are. You can send them by submitting them on Facebook, Twitter or emailing dinosaursanddandelions@hotmail.com.

The Music Box [Purity Ring]

For duo number two we head to one of my top two favourite countries in North America - Canada! The two members, Megan James and Corin Roddick, first formed Purity Ring in 2010 while on tour as part of another band. In 2012 they signed to a record label and released their debut album, Shrines, which includes the track Belispeak.

Another brick in the wall.

Huzzah!

At some point last night we went past 10,000 page views. That means that we, dear readers, have spent 10,000 moments together. Poor you! Poor, poor you...

Top5: Children's picture books

Welcome to Top5: Children's picture books, in which we attempt to explain why we all had such warped childhoods.

5: Green Eggs and Ham. Dr. Seuss, 1960 $10.57
Fun fact: This book contains only 50 words and is the result of a bet between Dr. Seuss and his publisher that he could not write a book consisting of less words than The Cat in the Hat, which contains 225 words.

5. Badjelly the Witch. Spike Mulligan, 1973. $17.99
Two children are searching for their lost cow (as you do) when they are captured by an incredibly scary witch. Eek! Plus, Spike Mulligan.

4: There's a Hippopotamus on Our Roof Eating Cake. Hazel Edwards, 1980. $5.92
"The imaginary Hippo can do what he likes on the roof. In fact, he does all the things a little girl wishes she could, but is not allowed..." what a naughty hippo!

3: Hairy Maclary from Donaldson's Dairy. Lynley Dodd, 1983. $10.57
"Hairy Maclary goes off for a walk with a few of his friends - and comes up against a nasty surprise in the shape of Scarface Claw." A New Zealand classic that's celebrating its 30th birthday this month!

2: The Very Hungry Caterpillar. Eric Carle, 1969. $12.33
In which a hungry caterpillar keeps eating until it turns into a butterfly. The book has sold roughly a copy a minute since its release in 1969 and has been endorsed by the Royal Entomological Society! Entomawhatical?

1: The Railway Series No.1: The Three Railway Engines. The Rev W. Awdry, 1945. $10.57
The "exciting illustrated adventure" that started it all, The Railway Series stretches to 42 books and is perhaps best known for "No.2: Thomas the Tank Engine". No.1 introduced us to the lovable characters of Edward, Gordon, Henry, the Isle of Sodor and the Fat Director.

The Music Box [MS MR]

If two's company and three's a crowd... is six, two crowds or three companies? I don't know and I don't like crowds, so just to be safe, this month in The Music Box we're all about duos!

Unsurprisingly, our first duo consists of two people - vocalist Lizzy Plapinger and producer Max Hershenow. The pair, from New York, go by the name MS MR and released their debut album, Secondhand Rapture, earlier this year. This is their first single, Hurricane.

Cooking with Matthew: Cheese

Well hello there my precious ducklings and welcome back to another quality Cooking Making with Matthew. Recently we were forbidden by one of the wise Editors-in-chief from creating any recipes that included Mice. As a result we have had to completly redesign today’s recipe.

Instead, today we are making something that is for mice. Namely, cheese. 

Cheese (serves 12…mice)

Ingredients

• Milk (preferably from a cow)

Procedure

1. Ask Little Miss Muffet how to make Curds and Whey and then follow her instructions.
2. Separate the Curds from the Whey using your old smelly sock as a sieve.
3. Press the Curds to get the moisture out.
4. Refrigerate.
5. Enjoy!

[Public Health Warning: Don't, just don't...or do, but take lots of photos]

Top 5: Ships

5. MS Allure of the Sea: Did you know this was the largest cruise ship in the world? And has been since 2010? Oh. Well, I didn't...

4. Ten Cents: Sure, a fictional boat, but hey! Representing Tugboats everywhere which for its size, is the most powerful craft afloat.

 

3. USS Nimitz: The oldest aircraft carrier still in service with the US Navy, Nimitz was built in 1975 and is still one of the largest warships in the world.

2. RMS Queen Mary 2: The only transatlantic liner in service between New York and Southampton, the Queen Mary 2 visited Auckland in March.

1. USA 17: Also known as BMW Oracle Racing 90, USA 17 is a giant fuck-off racing trimaran that won the America's Cup in 2010, defeating those dastardly Swiss. Able to race with two hulls out of the water, sure USA 17 was only built for one purpose and is now obsolete but damn; awesome...

The Music box [We Came As Romans]

Well that's it for June folks. Here is We Came As Romans covering One Direction, or whichever Brit boy band this song is by. I'm Glad You Came, my universe will never be the same, see you again next month with a brand new theme.