The Diplodocus

Welcome to episode four of our popular A-Zed series; Dinosaurs. Today we have reached the letter Dee, which of course means everybodies favourite long necked dinosaur that isn't the Apatosaurus; The Diplodocus. Our mate Dipo has that "classic dinosaur shape" with a big long neck and an equally huge tail, all held off the ground by four big sturdy legs. Diplodocus is long, in fact its the longest dinosaur that we have a complete skeleton of. It is estimated that Dipo was upto 33 metres long and weighed in at around 10 to 16 tonne. Jenny Craig would be proud.

The Diplodocus was discovered by S. W. Wilson in 1877, however he wasn't named until O. C. Marsh came along in 1878. Regular readers will know O. C. is short for Othniel Charles as Mr Marsh is a bit of a feature in this blog. From North America, complete skeletons are often found without their skulls, leading to a well respected theory made up just then by me that a headless sub species of Diplodocus existed in Wyoming and Colorado.

Dipo lived during the Jurassic period, so only about 150 million years ago. Hopefully I don't have to tell you that the Diplodocus was vegetarian, but just in case - the Diplodocus was vegetarian. They may have lived for around 100 years and probably travelled in herds. Its tail was "whip-like" and may have been used as a weapon. Either that, or for dominatrix games in the bedroom.

Unfortunately, no human ever saw a Diplodocus alive and so we can only summise what their habits were like. Academics guesstimate that they had nests for their eggs and were cathemeral - active in short bursts during the day. One study has even proposed that, due to their long necks, Dipo might have had a second smaller heart to pump blood to its head. But we all know that is wrong, as they didn't actually have heads.

The Music Box [Sallie Ford & The Sound Outside]

This week in the Box we have a female fronted band, with a good old fashioned rock 'n' roll vibe. These crazy cats might not be everyone's cup of tea, but who would want everyone’s cup of tea anyway - they were probably all backwashing and germing it up and stuff like that! Ew...

Concluding Ladies Outside Live, here’s Sallie Ford & The Sound Outside, in some park performing Cage.

Cooking with Matthew: Pizza!

Good morning and welcome back to everyone's favourite cooking show; Cooking with Matthew. After a hiatus of almost three years, I would imagine that you are getting rather bored with the four recipes we have learned so far.

But fear not, lets learn a new scrumptious dish to go with our collection of Pies, Ice blocks, Noodles and Toast. Today we travel to an exotic far away country - Italy - and learn one of their traditional dishes, Pizza. As well as being served in Italian restuarants everywhere, Pizza is also a Friday evening favourite - delicious.

Pizza is a little known dish that combines delicious toppings with a flat bread style base.

Pizza (Serves Two)

-Ingredients
Money (anywhere between 300 to 2000 Yen converted into NZD)
A communication device (e.g. a phone, computer-internet combo, letter and pen)

A transportation device [optional]

-Procedure
1. Use your communication device to contact your pizza shop of choice and place an order.
[Vegetarian tip: For a vegetarian option, order a vegetarian pizza]
2. Either travel to the pizza shop to collect, or pay extra to have them travel to you; most establishments call this "delivery".
3. Exchange your money for the pizza.
4. Enjoy!

Breaking News: Pope's resignation causes Mass confusion.

In breaking news, the Bishop of Rome, Vicar of Jesus Christ, Successor of the Prince of the Apostles, Supreme Pontiff of the Universal Church, Primate of Italy, Archbishop and Metropolitan of the Roman Province, Sovereign of the State of Vatican City and Servant of the Servants of God has announced his resignation from the positions. Also known as Pope Benedict XVI (real name Joseph Aloisius Ratzinger) he will become the first pope since 1294 to resign voluntarily when he does so at 8am on 28 February 2013. Despite original reports that he was resigning to work as a marketing director for Satan, it can now be confirmed that he will retire to the Collegiate Church of St. Thomas of Villanova in Italy.

German-born, the future pope was conscripted into the Hitler Youth during the War before joining the Church in 1945. In 1981 he was appointed to a position in the Vatican City and became one of Pope John Paul II’s closest confidents. He was elected Pope on 19 April 2009 following John Paul’s death. Regarded as a traditionalist or fundamentalist, Benedict has suffered deteriorating health and reportedly has trouble walking. He was recently advised by doctors to avoid long flights.

Pope Benedict XVI checking out his favourite blog; Dinosaurs and Dandelions.

The election of a new pope is done by Jesus Christ himself. Prior to this, a Papal Conclave consisting of all of the Cardinals under 80 years of age convenes to make a recommendation. There are currently estimated to be 118 eligible Cardinals, of which ten are talked about as frontrunners for the position. The Cardinals are all locked into the Sistine Chapel until they can decide on a candidate. After each election, and they may vote continuously until someone “wins”, the ballots are burned. Dark smoke signals to the world that the election didn’t have a winner while White smoke signals that a new pope has been elected. Benedict himself was elected under rules requiring only a simple majority (50%+1) however now a supermajority (75%) is required. This means that this years conclave could be a long one, potentially frustrating the Church’s wish to have a new Pope elected in time for Easter.

Berries: Revealed!

In an exclusive exposé, Your ANNUAL weekly News uncovers the shocking truth behind something that we all thought we knew and loved, Berries.

 

Question One: What do Avocados, Bananas, Tomatoes and Capsicums all have in common? Answer: They are all, technically, berries.

Woah, you say! I know, right? But how about this;

Question Two: What do Strawberries, Blackberries and Raspberries have in common?

Answer: Yes, that’s right – none of them are actually berries.

Is your mind blown yet?

Common berries.

Phrase THIS II: Kicking the bucket

Have you ever heard the phrase, “kicked the bucket”? What does it actually mean? Yes, that they died, but how the hell does that make any sense?

Now if you’ve just shouted at the screen an explanation of the phrase, first off – check around the room to make sure no one is looking at you funny. Then, give yourself a brownie point. However, you may not be correct – because, you see, there are three commonly accepted explanations for the humble phrase, and no definitive proof over which is the correct explanation.

Allow me to elaborate;

The Music Box [Nicole Atkins]

In the second part of our Ladies Outside Live series, it’s off to the good old U.S of A. This singer-songwriter ranges from pop rock to blues with a hint of country, and backs it all up with one of the best voices in the business.

This is Nicole Atkins, live in an alley somewhere, singin' her song, The Tower.